Grade 11.2

Hey Everyone!!! I want to begin post four by saying this, I love it out here! So far I have emphasized on the parts that have been not so great, but that is how I felt at the time. I just wanted to reinforce that for those of you who know me. I love this place and I am really glad we are here. :) Anyways, after the Australian boy I kind of fell into to this state of "whatever" haha. I had given up on boys (Boys are dumb, throw rocks at them :P JK). For about 4 months I really just hung out with Lacey and Jessica and helped them with their drama and exciting events etc. In March though, I really fell for this other boy. I met him in September on our bus and we talked every now and then, more often than not. I thought he was really cute but I didn't want that to be the reason I liked him, so I brushed it off. Little did I know I liked him a lot. When March came around I had finally realized that I thought about him all the time. So one night while I was thinking about him, I wrote a letter of confession. I didn't think I was actually going to give it to him , until I told Lacey and Jessica. They can convince me to do just about anything xD! So I did I brought it to school , but I was too chicken so Jessica gave it to him, but he knew it was from me before he read it. So third block Chemistry 30 rolls around, and I was so nervous I was shaking, literally. He looked at me but I just ducked away, blushing tremendously. Then he slipped me a note. It said "nice note". I was so surprised and happy all I could do was laugh and blush some more.  Lacey took it upon herself to ask one of his friends if he liked me and he said that he did, then she told me. After that I wanted to ask him if he actually did like me too, but I didn't want to be a pest or annoying or anything like that so I never did. Instead I wrote him two notes subtly hinting that he should tell me, but they were I guess too subtle because he didn't understand them. He actually said it kinda creeped him out >.< Way to go, huh? (this was in 3 weeks btw) We stopped talking for a little bit but it was like hide and seek. We caught each other looking at each other, all the time. This one time, I was in the gym with Lacey and I spun around her and glanced in the window of one of the offices and he was inside we just stared at each other for about 3 seconds and then I kept going. After that though, he stopped looking and talking to me. Then Lacey told me that he told another friend tat he didn't want a relationship, he wanted to go to college first (he was graduating). That was horrible, I still don't know why he just stopped all communication with me. It took me all summer to get over him, tbh I am not sure if I am even. I saw him the other day at my 4-H meeting, I wanted to talk to him but every time I looked he was talking to someone else. My mom said that he kept looking at me, now that I think of it he could have been looking at anyone in my general direction. Ah, well, it doesn't really matter now. I know that he was not meant for me, I guess God has other plans? That's all for this post! See ya!

After The Move

The summer after grade 10, I went to cadet camp (air cadets, representing the 353 Mile Zero Royal Canadian Air Cadets). I went to the Basic Survival Course (BSC). I had so much fun, I met new people, learnt new things and ate pre-packaged food (same as our soldiers). While I was there my family moved into my mom's fiances(now my step-dad) house. It is a very nice farm, I even have my own horse and steer out here! Anyways, it was just like how I started when I moved for the first time when I was 8, except I am more outgoing so I had a good friend in about a week. She rode my bus and we quickly became best friends, and we still are. She taught me new people, new classes and new teachers. I soon became fairly knowledgeable about my school and some of the people in it. The first time I spoke to her I asked her where a classroom was, I was standing right beside it >.< lol but we were in the same class which was cool :) but this summer she moved away 9 hours. Her family life got really bad,so she went to live with her biological mom. It really hurt her, especially because she loves her sister so much and as far as I know, she won't talk to her :( I also met this other girl, Jessica. She is just awesome and literally the sweetest girl you will ever meet! Lacey, Jessica and I quickly became the three amigos and our friendship took off! Sounds like a not bad place huh? Well in amongst this was depression, anger, sadness and longing. I spent 4 1/2 months crying each morning on my bus because I didn't want to face another day without Shae, Sabrina, Kelsey, Bailey and Breeann. It was horrible, I cried myself to sleep and I cried on the bus. Another thing that wasn't too bad about this place was the guys though (lol typical right? Well they are not pieces of meat so...) 3 days after school started, I got asked out. 3 days later I accepted. Justin is very nice and I like him, but the next night I broke it off. I was scared, my first boyfriend, and only after a week of being in a brand new school! He fought for me about a month or so after that, he asked a couple times and I told him I needed to get used to the new school. Eventually, we talked about it and we were almost dating again but he asked something and I couldn't hear him so I just said "yeah". Turns out he was saying that he had just been "friend zoned" hadn't he? I wanted to date him but accidentally told him that I just wanted to be friends :( that was hard because I didn't even know what friend zones were. A couple weeks after that I fell for this Australian boy. He had an accent from when he visited Australia and it kind of stuck. The first time I met him he was wearing our school mascot costume (Seymour the Beaver). His accent was the initial reason I fell for him, but as we began talking more and we got to know each other I started to fall for his words and his actions and the things he does. He took my breath away, sometimes he still does. I confessed my feelings to him once, and I believe he was going to ask me out, but the next day I got a text saying that he changed his mind. I cried, not gonna lie. He fell for one of my best friends, he fell hard. Things seemed pretty uneventful for a while after that. Goodnight, everyone!

The True Start

Hey, this is only post two but I want to seem more comfortable that business-like in my writing, so What's up?! I will start with my first move. When I was 8 years old, my parents split up and my mom, brothers and I all moved 14 hours away from where we were. It was all very confusing and I had no idea why we moved or where we went to. Being young I quickly fell back in the school routine and just continued on with my education. Throughout elementary school, I didn't really have friends. I was very shy and a bit socially awkward. I never really seemed to fit in with the people at school and I often ended up standing on the outside of circles listening to the latest stories. I am also not the thinnest, less so then. I was bullied a lot because I was an easy target, I was small, fat and incapable of standing up for myself. I met this one boy though and he was really nice to me, and I started to like him. A bunch of kids though started singing songs and teasing us for hanging out so much and kept saying we should date and stuff like that. Anyway, one day during Easter break I facebooked him and we were talking and so I asked him out, and he said no. Killed my self-esteem yet it was only grade 6 haha. Then came middle school. I went through grade 7, somewhat worried for my safety, as my teacher was creepy and I caught him looking down my shirt once. I actually found out last year that he got fired for having young porn on his school laptop, awesome eh? Anyways, in grade 8 was when I made my first real Amazing friends Shae, Sabrina and Kelsey (I actually met Kelsey in grade 4 but we didn't become friends until grade 8). They severely improved my life, literally the whole thing. I had someone to walk to school with and hang out with at lunch. In grade 9 I met two more amazing friends, Bailey Ann and Breeann. I am still great friends with all 5 of these people. They all impacted my life and helped remove me from my shell. My all-time favourite teacher I also met in grade 9, I had the pleasure of taking a grade 10 drama class, Mrs. Longely is the most incredible teacher I will ever have. She understands how we are and how we should be at our age levels and she goes along with it, instead of getting frustrated and ornery like other teachers. In grade 10, I had a huge maturity leap. It was like high school was my bridge to confidence. I instantly became more outgoing and confident in myself. The best part of grade 10 was Music Theatre. My high school put on a full length musical every year, that year it happened to be Willy Wonka. I will never be able to put into words how magnificent those 5 months were. If I have any acting talent that is why, if I have grey hair that is also why! The dancing, singing, building, sewing and acting, it was just like Utopia to me! I have said it before, I will say it yet again, it was the best 5 months of my life. I couldn't wait to do it again. Then I found out, I was moving.

The Beginning

So, I guess I should introduce myself! I am a typical teenage girl, I am in the twelfth grade and I am waay over dramatic, like most girls. So, I created this blog so that I can tell stories about my fails and successions in my life. It is a way for me to get me feelings off my chest and out of my way, I find the only way to do that is to tell people. Who better to tell than other people who are just like me or nothing like me. :)  Now I will tell you about my social life. I am a well liked person by most, I have never found anyone to talk behind my back (except a few) and those who did I had a problem with. So, basically I didn't care because I have friends who know me better than that. Also, I moved after my first year of high school, after living in the same town for 8 years. Yeah, ouch. So, I live in 30 minutes out of the town where I live now and that sucks because that means I don't get to hang out with the friends that I have made very often outside of school. My story begins earlier though. I will put that in another post. Goodnight!